Redshirts by John Scalzi

Author:John Scalzi
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781429963602
Publisher: A Tom Doherty Associates Book
Published: 2012-06-05T14:22:34+00:00

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

“Okay, I see him,” Duvall said, pointing up Camarillo Street. “He’s the one on the bicycle.”

“Are you sure?” Dahl asked.

“I know what you look like, even wearing a bicycle helmet,” Duvall said. “Trust me.”

“Now, remember not to freak him out,” Dahl said. He had on a baseball cap he had bought and was holding a copy of the day’s Los Angeles Times in his hand. The two of them were standing in front of the condominium complex Brian Abnett lived in.

“You’re telling me not to freak him out,” she said. “You’re the one who’s his clone.”

“I don’t want him freaking out until he sees me,” Dahl said.

“Don’t worry, I’m good with men,” Duvall said. “Now go stand over there and try not to look…” She paused.

“Try not to look what?” asked Dahl.

“Try not to look so clone-y,” Duvall said. “At least not for a couple more minutes.” Dahl grinned, stepped back and raised his newspaper.

“Hey,” Dahl heard Duvall say a minute later. He peeked over the top of the newspaper just enough to see her walk up to Brian Abnett, who was getting off his bike and unlatching his helmet.

“Hey,” Abnett said, and then took another look at her. “Wait, don’t tell me,” he said, smiling. “We’ve worked together.”

“Maybe,” Duvall said, coyly.

“Recently,” Abnett said.

“Maybe,” Duvall said again.

“That hemorrhoid cream commercial,” Abnett said.

“No,” Duvall said, flatly.

“Wait!” Abnett said, pointing. “Chronicles of the Intrepid. A few months ago. You and I did that scene together where we were being chased by killer robots. Tell me I’m right.”

“It’s very close to what I remember,” Duvall said.

“Thank you,” Abnett said. “I hate it when I forget people I’ve worked with. You’re still doing work with them, right? I think I’ve seen you around the set since then.”

“You could say so,” Duvall said. “What about you?”

“I’ve got a small character arc on the show,” Abnett said. “It’s only been a few shots through the season, and of course they’re killing off my character a couple of episodes from now, but until then it’s nice work.” He motioned at the condominium building. “Means I get to stay here through the year, anyway.”

“So they’re going to kill you off?” Duvall asked. “You’re sure about that?”

“That’s what the agent tells me,” Abnett said. “She says they’re still writing the episode, but it’s pretty much a done deal. Which is fine, since she wants to put me up for a couple of film roles and staying on Intrepid will just get in the way of that.”

“Sad about the character, though,” Duvall said.

“Well, that’s science fiction television for you, though,” Abnett said. “Someone’s got to be the red shirt.”

“The what?” Duvall said.

“The red shirt,” Abnett said. “You know, in the original Star Trek, they always had Kirk and Bones and Spock and then some poor dude in a red shirt who got vaporized before the first commercial. The moral of the story was not to wear a red shirt. Or go on away missions when you’re the only one whose name isn’t on the opening credits.

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